This is proper old school. Like when people used to exchange pigs for bags of corn. I may try this with all my clients. I’ll write all Natwest’s sales letters (I can’t do any worse than the rubbish they send out) and in return they’ll pay the mortgage. Whaddya think?

Anyway, back to Jayson. You can find his work here. Check it out.

Why being a copywriter is v. good. Part 2 is a post from the Turner Ink Copywriting Blog

Battersea Power Station - Red - Jayson Lilley

It also means you get loads of free stuff. Yay. And recently I’ve been sent shoes, chocolates, an icemaker, a wine cooler, carrot cake and a hamper. I’m still waiting for my client in Barbados to come through with a flight.

Last week I was fortunate enough to do some work for Jayson Lilley, one of my favourite artists. If you’re in London, you may be familiar with his work which incudes images of London landmarks such as the iconic Trellick Tower, South Bank and Battersea Power Station (my all time favourite building).

So I was very chuffed when Jayson sent me a signed print yesterday. Thanks Jayson!

If you’d like to see more of Jayson Lilley’s work take a look at his website.

One of the best things about being a copywriter… is a post from the Turner Ink Copywriting Blog

But this time the walls have gone up, the windows have gone in and the roof has gone on. And it’s looking mighty fine. But wait. What’s this? There’s no foundation? No problem, you say. We’ll put that in at a later date. Maybe next month. Or later on in the year.

Can you imagine what a pain that would be? To try and install a foundation under your house once it has been built? Not impossible. But not easy. And completely arse about face.

Building a website without thinking about SEO is like building a house without a foundation.

Keyword research reveals which keyphrases are actually being used when people – potential customers – are looking for your products or services. From the keyword research we decide what pages your site needs and the content of each page. Then you get a brilliant copywriter to write optimised copy, with the keywords cleverly weaved throughout so your visitor doesn’t notice them but the search engines do. And then your developer and designer come on board, once they know how many pages there are and how much copy there is.

SEO, like a foundation, underpins your website. It should be the first thing you think about not the last. Don’t be tempted to get your website up as quickly as possible and then consider SEO. It’s not impossible to optimise a site once it’s live. But it’s not easy. And it’s completely arse about face.

Find out more about SEO copywriting or get in touch.

Image courtesy of terren in Virginia

New website? Start at the bottom and work your way up is a post from the Turner Ink Copywriting Blog

There are some great features including a spa bath, massive walk-in wardrobes, and a huge kitchen that’s perfect for entertaining. It’s got a home cinema and a gym; under floor heating; motion-sensitive lighting; and a garage that takes four cars.

In short, this is your dream home. And when it’s finished you’re going to be the envy of your friends and neighbours.

And then your builder asks what roof tiles you’d like.

“So, what’s it to be? Clay tiles, slate tiles or reclaimed tiles?”

“Oh don’t worry about the roof. I’ll be doing that myself.”

“Errr…are you an experienced roofer then?” Enquires your builder.

“Nope. But seriously, how difficult can it be? I’m going to get a book off Amazon and teach myself. I was always good with my hands at school. And I just want to save a bit of money.”

And so you do the roof tiling yourself. And it looks rubbish. There are cracks and leaks. And soon water is seeping through the holes and down the walls. The carpets are ruined, the electrics are busted and your house is a mess.

You’re not the envy of your neighbours. You’re a laughing stock. And to think – your new house could have been fantastic.

So when it comes to building a new website, why would you pay a designer and developer a substantial amount of money to make your site look great and work well and then ruin it all by writing your own copy? Or worse, getting Rachel the receptionist to “have a go at it” because “she’s good with words”. (And that’s a true story.)

Now, I’m not saying you couldn’t teach yourself to be a copywriter. But why would you? In much the same way you wouldn’t teach yourself to be a chef, when a function at the office needs catering. Nor would you run out and buy Car Maintenance for Dummies when your company car breaks down. 

Think of copywriting the same way. Don’t try it yourself at home. If you’re in the process of having a new website you’ll need a developer and designer to build it and make it look nice. And you’ll need a copywriter to put the roof tiles on.

Need copy? Get in touch.

Copywriting: Why it’s a lot like tiling a roof is a post from the Turner Ink Copywriting Blog

It got me thinking about portmanteaus: those words that are a blend of two other words. Or to be more precise they’re the beginning of one word joined to the end of another.

Some are rotten. Like infotaining for one. Or copelessness (from cope and hopelessness). Or those famous couple ones like Brangelina or Bennifer or errr…umm…Jedward.

And some are just invented by marketing departments to get us to buy more stuff. “Oooh you’re a chocoholic. Here. Buy another three bars why don’t you?”

Some portmanteaus are now so part of our everyday language it’s hard to think of their origin as two separate words. “Come over in a fortnight for a ginormous brunch and bring your camcorder with you.”

And, of course, our online language is awash with portmanteaus including Internet, email, malware, blog, netiquette. emoticon, webinar, WiFi and Wikipedia to name just a few.

The word portmanteau itself is a blend word as it combines the words porter (to carry) and manteau (cloak) and actually means a small leather travel case. It’s often thought portmanteaus originated from the author Lewis Carroll who used them liberally in Through the Looking Glass published in 1872. Chortle and Galumph are two of Carroll’s portmanteaus. Not so, according  to fellow copywriter Jonathan Gabay who states that examples of word blending have been found in 7th century Old English manuscripts. 

So without further ado here are a few famous portmanteaus.

Advertorial: Advert and Editorial
Brunch: Breakfast and Lunch
Bionic: Biology and Electronic
Blog: Web and Log
Camcorder: Camera and Recorder
Chillax: Chill and Relax
Chortle: Chuckle and Snort
Dumfound: Dumb and Confound
Email: Electronic and Mail
Emoticon: Emotion and Icon
Fanzine: Fan and Magazine
Fortnight: Fourteen and Nights
Galumph: Gallop and Triumph
Ginormous: Gigantic and Enormous
Glitz: Glamour and Ritz
Hassle: Haggle and Tussle
Humongous: Huge and Monstrous
Infomercial: Information and Commercial
Intercom: Internal and Communications
Internet: International and Network
Malware: Malicious and Software
Motel: Motor and Hotel
Muppet: Marionette and Puppet
Netiquette: Internet and Etiquette
Piffle: Piddle and Trifle
Prissy: Prim and Sissy
Smog: Smoke and Fog
Squiggle: Squirm and Wiggle
Telex: Teleprinter and Exchange
Webinar: Web and Seminar
WiFi: Wireless and Fidelity
Wikipedia: Wiki and Encyclopedia

Got any favourite portmanteaus? Or portmanteaus of the future? Let us know in the comments. 

Image courtesy of Samikki

Portmanteaus. What are they? And where can I buy one? is a post from the Turner Ink Copywriting Blog

Indeed.

It’s not cool to swear though, right? Or is it? Once frowned upon as showing lack of intelligence it now seems perfectly acceptable to cuss.

Stephen Fry, the cunning linguist says of swearing “the sort of twee person who thinks swearing is in any way a sign of a lack of education or of a lack of verbal interest is a f***ing lunatic.”

In an article in Stylist magazine last week they wrote that swearing had been scientifically proven to “ease pain, increase productivity and bond us at work”. F***ing hell. That’s impressive.

I remember the Sex Pistols back in the 70s (look it up kids) going on an expletive rampage when interviewed on TV. There was shock and outrage and parents ran to cover their children’s ears.

And yet turn on your TV these days and you’ll hear the likes of Gordon Ramsay turning the air blue whilst making an awfully nice lobster salad. Gordy’s show is even called The F Word.

So yelling a cuss word because you’ve got a parking ticket, broken your leg, or because you’re under stress at work all seem acceptable.

But how about writing swearwords? Is it OK to write f*ck, sh*t or b*llocks in your article, blog or tweet?

We try and get around it, of course, by substituting an asterisk for one or some of the letters as if this will protect the innocent or at least blame the reader for having a dirty mind. “Oh you saw sh*t and read it as shit did you? That’s your fault then. What I meant was shut.”

And then we end up with the sort of nonsense you get in the Sunday papers where you’re left wondering what the swearwords actually are. “Racquel, the 22 year old escort accused the premiership footballer of having a small p**** being s***** and a b***** a******. “

The Guardian regularly uses sh*t (sans asterisk) and even had f*ck on the front page recently. (Just for the record they’re using b*stard less whilst w*anker has remained stable.)

Cursebird monitors swearing on Twitter in a real time feed. And there’s loads of it. At the time of writing f*ck and sh*t are leading the way closely followed by b*tch and p*ss. Nice.

The talented @naomidunford over at Ittybiz doesn’t give a sh*t about swearwords and is famous for effing and blinding her way through her blog posts. It hasn’t bothered her readers and she’s got a huge following.

But I’m not so sure it’s for everybody. I once wrote that you shouldn’t say anything on Twitter that you wouldn’t say to your mum. And I think that includes swearwords. Yeah, the asterisk thing is a bit of a cop out I know. But it does acknowledge that you’ve given some thought to other people’s feelings.

What do you think? Should we refrain from cussing online? Or is it all a load of Anglo Saxon b*llocks?

Let us know in the comments.

F***ing hell. Is it ok to swear now? is a post from the Turner Ink Copywriting Blog

And yet, I have to say, so far it’s been absolutely brilliant. I’ve swapped ideas, learnt new things, planned a few joint projects and really got to know the people behind the avatar. (Oh yeah. And talked a lot of footie.)  

I started with UK copywriters* because we’re a friendly bunch by nature. And at the end of each conversation I asked for a top tip or a few words of wisdom. Amazingly, everyone said something different.

“Read everything and anything from Hemingway to the Shoot Annual. Don’t be snobby about it.” Johnny Cullen @EustonDoYouCopy

“Always put yourself in your audience’s shoes.” Jill Tomlinson @shelovestowrite

“Clients, film makers, writers, developers, account managers – you don’t make a viral, your audience does.” Larner Caleb @larnerC

“Great writing isn’t plain English – it’s clear writing with Zing!” Ben Locker @benlocker

“If your copy seems ridiculously simple, it’s finished.” Tom Albrighton @tomcopy

“Always have a cup of tea before you start writing.” Caroline Dalzell @firstforcopy

“Exterminate the word ‘that’.” Joy McCarthy @WORDright

“Remember it’s about the reader not the writer.” Chris Street @bristoleditor

“Have the confidence to write like you speak.” Claire Lynch @goodcopybadcopy

“Write what comes naturally, don’t be contrived or overly SEO conscious. More often than not you’ll include enough keywords without thinking.” Alasdair Murray at @Alconcalcia

“Never answer the phone in your PJs and slippers. Dress as if you were going to meet a client and you’ll feel more professional.” Elaine Swift @laini 

“One simple thing any aspiring writer (or even an experienced writer) can do is run every word through a ‘Would you say this to someone you know?’ filter.” Jamie Hudson @jamiehudson

“Confidence carries the day. Write like you’re an expert, talk like you’re an expert, act like you’re an expert. Even if you’re not, it’ll carry you through until you are.” Andrew Nattan @Mr603

“Don’t work for people because you love them or their product. Work for them because they’ll pay your invoice on time. If you love them too, that’s a bonus.” Andy Maslen @andymaslen

“Read out a line of your copy that you think is selling benefits. Now imagine your reader’s response. If they’re saying, “so what?” it’s not a benefit. When they’d feel stupid asking ‘so what’, you’re home.” Shamelessly borrowed from Andy Maslen by Mike Brown @word_forge

“Treat your client’s business like it’s your own. Share the passion and the words will flow.” Howard Smith @NoSloppyCopy

“Aspire.” Martin Williams @ukcopywriting

“Put passion before punctuation.” Ali Turnbull @fit_to_print

“Good writers borrow from other writers. Great writers steal from them outright.” Stolen from screenwriter Aaron Sorkin by Tom Mason @totmac

“Be yourself. Being creative means bringing a little bit of yourself to the table. After all, that’s where ideas come from, your personal experience, your way of expressing yourself. It’s when you try to be something else, or when someone tries to force you to write like they do, that it all goes wrong.” Ali Turner @Copy_Girl

*There are so many UK copywriters in the Twitter gang I’m ‘doing’ them in three posts. More tips from UK copywriters later in the year.

Who shall I call next? SEOers? Or designers?

Top tips from 20 of the UK’s top copywriters is a post from the Turner Ink Copywriting Blog

Which got me thinking. How many other advertising slogans have become part of the vernacular? Which awesomely brilliant straplines do we now say every day?

Here are a few I could think of.

Lovely Jubbly
Lovely Jubbly was first used in an ad campaign for Jubbly orange drink back in the 50s. (Before my time. No, really.) It came in a cleverly shaped pyramid carton, made by Tetrapak, and, by all accounts, was impossible to knock over.

Now used to mean great, fantastic, good stuff, the phrase was made really famous by Del Boy in TV’s Only Fools and Horses.

“Shall we knock off early and go down the pub?”
“Lovely Jubbly.”

Does exactly what it says on the tin®
Used in ad campaigns for woodstain manufacturer Ronseal since the early 1990s, Does exactly what it says on the tin® was created by Liz Whiston and Dave Shelton of London ad agency HHCL.

The phrase is now used to describe anything that’s straightforward, simple to use or behaves as expected.

“That WordPress plug-in you recommended is great.”
“Does exactly what it says on the tin.”

Because I’m worth it
Made famous by beauty brand L’Oréal, the slogan Because I’m worth it was changed to the more outwardly looking Because you’re worth it in the mid 2000s and the more inclusive Because we’re worth it in 2009.

Now used by women worldwide to justify any overindulgence in alcohol/food/shopping.

“Are you getting those £500 Jimmy Choos?”
“Yes! Because I’m worth it!”

The future’s bright the future’s Orange
Used by telephone company Orange for over 14 years, the famous strapline was laid to rest two years ago. Written by ad agency WCRS in 1994, the slogan was used to launch the mobile phone brand into the UK market.

The phrase is now used to describe anybody who has overdone the fake tan.

“OMG. Did you see the colour of Katie Price?”
“Yep, the future’s bright.”

Just do it
Considered one of the most inspirational slogans of all time, Nike’s Just Do It has been around for over twenty years. Created by Dan Wieden of ad agency Widen+Kennedy the slogan came about after a meeting between Wieden and Nike where he complemented the Nike team for their go-getting attitude. “You Nike guys, you just do it.”

Now said to anybody considered to be slacking.

“Not sure I can be bothered to run 5 miles tonight.”
“Just do it.”

Simples
Made famous by Aleksander Orlov the meerkat, Simples has featured in all Compare The Market’s TV ads since January 2009 and was created by marketing agency VCCP. Aleksandr has gone on to enjoy fame and fortune in his own right and has thousands of followers on Twitter and Facebook.

Simples is used to describe anything that’s really easy to do. 

“Did you get your plasma screen up OK?”
“No probs. It was seem-pels.”

I’m lovin’ it
Using the lyrics from a Justin Timberlake track, the I’m lovin’ it slogan was created by German agency Heye and Partner and has been used by McDonald’s since 2003.

I’m lovin’ it is now used to show your appreciation of absolutely anything.

“What do you think of the new bin in the staff room?”
“Oh, I’m lovin’ it.”

 
Any others? Stick them in the comments!

I’m Lovin’ It: Advertising slogans we use every day is a post from the Turner Ink Copywriting Blog

Now, I love these ads. And I like the fact that Nationwide has been brave enough to use controversial TV characters in their advertising. So when I picked up this leaflet I was hoping to read some quirky, fun, off the wall copy. Wrong.

First of all, this leaflet isn’t aimed at Joe Public: it’s actually aimed at Nationwide staff because it talks about the ‘intranet’ and ‘customer questions’, which makes the style of this leaflet even more inappropriate. (And why was it in the banking hall for me to pick up?)

Take the opening line: “Our TV ads have been designed to cut through the noise of the media.” What? Yawnsville. With all due respect to the staff at Nationwide, how many of them will know what “cut through the noise of the media” even means? I’m not sure I know.

The best bit is under customer questions. In other words, the questions customers may come in and ask.

Question: The ads talk about “Proud to be different”. How can you justify that?
Answer: Our mutual model, combined with great service, and a commitment to long-tern value for our members all make us very different to other financial service.

Ewwww. “Our mutual model”? Can you imagine any building society cashier actually saying this. Nope.

Or how about:
Question: How much has the advertising cost?
Answer: We’ve benchmarked our production costs and we’re in line with the market.

So if I went into a branch this afternoon and asked how much the ad campaign cost do you think I would get the answer above?

Was this written by the ad agency and then butchered in-house by some corporate bod who had been on a marketing course? Or was it knocked together by an intern in the marketing department? ’After all, it’s only for the staff.’ It’s a shame. Because this was an opportunity for Nationwide to get their teams a-buzzin’ about the new campaign. This misses the mark by miles. 

What. Ever.

Yeah, but, no, but, yeah…How Nationwide Building Society’s copy is more ‘whatever’ than ‘wow’ is a post from the Turner Ink Copywriting Blog

OK, so I’m generalising and being just a tad subjective. And I only used the word ‘crap’ because it made a nice headline. So let me be more specific. A great many straplines you see these days are irrelevant, forgettable and most unforgiveable, boring.

It wouldn’t be so bad if these straplines belonged to small, local companies and had been dreamed up by the business owner, whose full-time job is making widgets, not writing powerful, effective, memorable straplines.

Or if they’d been thought up by the account exec or an inexperienced junior copywriter in the ad agency. They’re only working on a small account so it doesn’t warrant the creative heavyweights spending any time on it.

No, these straplines belong to some of the biggest household names in Britain. Companies you know and love. Companies with strong brands which you’d have thought they’d be working hard to protect, cherish and nurture.

What all of these straplines have in common is the feeling they give me. A horrible, mushy nothingness. An emotional emptiness. No connection with the business. And a sense that if the company doesn’t even know what it stands for, how can I?

Step forward just a few of the companies on my Strapline Roll Call of Dishonour.

This one’s a real corker. Sky TV is in millions of homes across the country. They bring, ‘the most up-to-date editorial, pictures and video-breaking news, sport, showbiz, movies, TV, travel and more.’

Just think of the panoply of words that are at the copywriter’s disposal, the images and emotions that can be stirred up in the reader’s mind, the bond that people have with the box in the corner and nowadays, their computers. Write something that taps into this feeling and you’ve reinforced Sky’s position in the market and helped create an even stronger brand.

So what do we get?

Sky
Believe in better

What’s this? A strapline for the C of E? A promise of nirvana in the afterlife? And at the very least it’s saying, you can believe in better from Sky, but this doesn’t mean you’re going to get it.

How about this one:

Currys
We can help

Which just goes to show that one of the key requirements of any strapline is relevance. At least try to suggest what kind of company you are and what kind of products or services you sell. This strapline could literally be applied to any company, but would actually work really well for the Samaritans.

Here’s another one which was only launched in April 2010:

Renault
Drive the change

OK, so it does have ‘drive’ in it. And they may be launching new models which have changed from the old ones. But the use of the word change doesn’t work in this context. The old Asda strapline, ‘You’ll love the change’ worked because Asda had changed and it tied this into a value proposition. The Renault line does none of this and is just woolly and unfocused.

What’s more, there’s no suggestion of the French heritage of the cars. Remember, Renault’s most successful TV campaign, ‘Nicole and Papa’ was so charmingly Gallic you could almost smell the Gauloises. And tying into your national heritage and country of origin has worked so well for Audi – ‘Vorsprung durch technik’ – that now VW do it too – ‘Das auto’ – 25 years after Audi first had the idea.

All in all, a great strapline. For an HRT product.

Here are a couple of straplines which completely baffle me:

Toby Carvery
Just as it should be

So Toby Carvery is just as it should be. I’m getting that feeling again. What should it be that Toby Carvery is just as? (You see what I mean?) I haven’t been to a Toby for about 30 years, but if you gave me a good reason to go again, I’d go. This isn’t it. I don’t know what Toby should be as and now you’re making me think about it.

I just want something that suggests a good choice of well-cooked food, nice wines, a relaxing atmosphere, good times, great company. All at a good price. A place that’s special, but not posh or expensive – a kind of upmarket Harvester.

And what about:

Simplyhealth.co.uk
We can be bothered

Well, I’m glad to hear it. I think they want to be in the territory of the famous Avis strapline, ‘We try harder’ which is a good strategy. But please, don’t use the word, ‘bothered’. Straight away you’re thinking about Catherine Tate’s irritating teenager.

Here are two more which actually aren’t bad:

Asda
Saving you money every day

Nice and simple, and it talks about saving money which is what Asda is all about. But even this can be improved. I’m guessing that the ‘you’ in the line is a collective you referring to everyone in Britain. In that sense, Asda does save us Britons money every day.

But I’m an individual and every single person who reads this line does so individually. And guess what – I don’t go to Asda every day. I might go once or twice a month if I can’t avoid it. It would be much better to say, ‘Asda. Saving you money every shop.’ There’s alliteration, it scans nicely and people now refer to doing the weekly ‘shop’.

Enterprise rent-a-car
We’ll pick you up

Great. The USP as a strapline, and why not. And even if it isn’t a USP and every car rental company does it, nobody else is saying it. Therefore, it becomes a brand property of Enterprise.

Why so bad?

There are a variety of reasons. From the client’s point of view, nobody in the marketing team wants to green light a strapline which might backfire and harm their career prospects.

A strapline which actually says something about the company and its brand values might attract unwanted attention, open up the company to criticism or be controversial. It might even heaven forbid, stand out and be noticed. In short, nobody wants to be the person who takes that risk.

(It reminds me of the phrase from the 80s, ‘Nobody ever got fired for buying IBM.’ It was true. But where are IBM now?)

This mindset was echoed in a recent presentation by Rory Sutherland, President of the IPA. He said, “Creative people have a fear of the obvious, and yet they have to present their work to people who have a love of the obvious.”

In short, clients want obvious straplines because that’s what they feel happy, safe and secure with. They certainly don’t want to run the risk of standing out.

On the advertising agency side, similar thinking applies. The agency doesn’t want to lose the account and if the client is saying they want a safe, corporate strapline then that’s what they’re jolly well going to get.

Of course, many large, established companies have a set of brand values, standing and reputation to uphold and can’t be seen to be supported by a tagline that’s too radical, creative or just plain different. I understand that. But the skill of the copywriter comes in developing something new and fresh while keeping within these constraints.

And so we are left with these safe, sterile, meaningless jumbles of words. But remember, as the old advertising saying goes, ‘Safe isn’t safe.’

Visit Jamie Hudson’s blog for more on straplines and how to write a great one.

With over 30 years in the business, Jamie is one of the most experienced – and fastest – freelance copywriters in the Midlands.

He’s worked on numerous above- and below-the-line campaigns at various agencies including Saatchi & Saatchi, GGT Direct, WWAV Rapp Collins, Publicis Dialog, FCB Direct, O&M Direct, EURO RSCG Riley and BIG Communications.

This post was first published on Jamie’s blog. Check it out. And visit his website. You can also follow him on Twitter @jamiehudson

Why are most straplines just crap lines? is a post from the Turner Ink Copywriting Blog