What is it about football and clichés? Don’t know. But a World Cup wouldn’t be a World Cup without a few ‘played his socks off’ would it? Here are some other favourites we’ve heard in the last few weeks.

Argentina is a team that likes to play football
As opposed to all the other teams which would prefer to play rounders or ping pong given half a chance.

He’s not that kind of player
Said of a player whose crunching tackle on the opposition’s No. 9 has led to him being carried off on a stretcher. Thus proving he is that kind of player.

He should have scored
Yes, that is the idea.

Couldn’t have hit it any better (as the ball whistles by the far post)
Did it go in? Nope? Then he probably could have hit it better.

The defender’s done just enough to put him off
Said of a centre half who has just clattered into the back of a player, sending him into the first row.

It’s important……we get off to a good start/score first/keep our heads up/defend well/ concentrate
Win. We just need to win. That’s the most important thing.

A game of two halves
Yep. Since the rules of Association Football were written in about 18 hundred and frozen to death it has always been a game of two halves. Unless your mum called you in for your tea early.

They’ve parked the bus in front of goal
Actually, no. The other team is defending well. And I think you’ll find the bus is in the car park where the driver left it.

If it wasn’t for the keeper they would have scored
Nooooo! Really? Damn that goalkeeper.

Six inches lower and that was in
Aaah that’s the point see? The crossbar is there for a reason.

Take one game at a time
In fact, there’s no other way you can play apart from one game at a time. Even if you’re ‘efficient Germans’ you can still only play one game at a time.

The Manager has lost the dressing room
Look it’s there. Next to the broom cupboard and the toilet. That Pavlos Joseph bloke seemed to find it ok.

Gerrard and Lampard can’t play together
What are they? Seven? ‘That’s my ball.’ ‘No, it’s mine.’ ‘Mine!’ ‘Waaaah!’ They’re two adults who play football professionally. Of course they can play together. Oh wait…

A good day at the office
Not really. Prancing round a bit of grass for an hour and a half is not like working in an office is it? Do I see a PC, a printer, a fax machine, stale milk and random coffee cups left in the sink? I do not. It’s not an office.

We always knew we were in for a tough game
We were crap and were played off the park.

They’ve got a lot of quality players
See above.

They worked very hard and made it difficult for us
See above.

Any more? Leave ‘em in the comments!

They think it’s all over…and other football clichés we love is a post from the Turner Ink Copywriting Blog

Yep, most of us know that capital letters are used for proper nouns and at the beginning of a sentence. But take a quick look at the intertubes and you’ll discover that the misuse of capital letters is now reaching epidemic proportions.

So here’s a handy capital letters checklist.

Use capital letters for:

The first letter of a sentence: It was there
Days of the week and months:  Monday, July
Personal pronoun: I
Proper names: Sarah, London, River Thames
Brand names: Microsoft, Sony
Countries: England, Australia
Languages: French, German
Job titles if the title comes before a name: Vice-President Jeff Atkins
Salutations: Dear Sir
Acronyms and abbreviations: BBC, UN
Holidays and festivals: Christmas, Easter
In titles of books and films: Confessions of a Shopaholic, Crime and Punishment
When you’re shouting: HOW HAS THIS HAPPENED?

In the US capital letters are used for every word in a heading apart from prepositions (to, over), conjunctions (and, but) and articles a and the: The Simple Power of a Killer Offer. Nothing to Fear but Fear Itself.

Capital letters should also be used in Page Titles and PPC ads.
 
 

Punctuation Grammar Ebook
Stuck on Comma Use? Confused by
Tenses? Buy this Ebook Now £6.99
www.turnerink.co.uk/ebook 

But don’t use capital letters for:

The seasons: summer, winter
When a country appears as part of a well-known phrase: danish pastries, french windows, english muffins
Relatives: mum, dad, aunt (unless they’re my Mum, my Dad or my Aunt)
Compass points: Drive east on the A3, he lived on the north coast of France
Job titles if it comes after a name: David Cameron, the British prime minister, is due to meet with Barack Obama this afternoon

So how about online stuff? (For the record online is lower case and all one word.) Purists write Web and Internet with capital letters but web and internet are now widely used. So just pick one style and stick to it. The word website is lower case as is email. But the jury is still out on Ebooks and Enewsletters and you’ll see them written with upper and lower cases.

Agree or disagree with any of the above? Let us know in the comments.

Capital Punishment: When to use (and not use) capital letters is a post from the Turner Ink Copywriting Blog

Or to put it more simply, if you’re using two similar words to describe a thing, person, place, animal or idea you should use a comma to separate them.

She worked in a happy, relaxed office.
He pointed to the big, tall guy in the gym.
Her boss was a strong, confident woman.

The easiest way to test if the two adjectives are similar is to reverse their order or stick an And inbetween them.

She worked in a happy and relaxed office. She worked in a relaxed, happy office.
He pointed to the tall and big guy in the gym. He pointed to the big, tall guy in the gym.
Her boss was a strong and confident woman. Her boss was a confident, strong woman.

Yep, they all work. Which means they’re all co-ordinating adjectives and need a comma between them.

Now use the same the rule to spot non co-ordinating adjectives.

He wore his blue cotton shirt to the office.
It was a stripy football jersey.
The extensive briefing document was nearly finished.

If we swapped them round or added an And we’d get:

He wore his cotton blue shirt to the office.
It was a stripy and football jersey.
The briefing extensive document was nearly finished.

Nope. These don’t work. So no comma.

As a general rule, adjectives of size come first, followed by adjectives of age, shape, colour, material, origin and purpose.

Blue cotton shirt.
Tall, young guy in accounts.
New French film.

 

Where do commas go in a list of adjectives? is a post from the Turner Ink Copywriting Blog

Metaphors make a comparison between two things that are basically different but have something in common. So

Arsene Wenger was boiling mad over Porto’s dodgy goal
Bankers’ bonuses are difficult to swallow
The ball rocketed into the net
His recollection of events was foggy
London is a melting pot
He’s a rock

Of course the ball didn’t literally go like a rocket. But it did go very fast, like a rocket would. And London isn’t literally a melting pot. But it is full of all types of people, things, smells and colours. And some bloke isn’t literally a rock. But he is strong and sturdy. You get the drift.

And then I started thinking about similes, idioms and clichés. (Yeah, thank goodness it’s only a 15 minute drive.)

So what are similes? Similes are when two things are compared to each other and are said to be like or as something.

She felt as free as a bird
It fitted like a glove
That joke is as old as the hills
She was as thin as a rake
They were as scarce as hen’s teeth
He was as tough as old boots
Life is like a box of chocolates

How about idioms? An idiom is a common expression which is part of every day speech and often breaks all rules on grammar and meaning. In fact, the word idiom comes from the Greek idios meaning ‘one’s own, peculiar, or strange’.

The histories of some idioms such as skate on thin ice are obvious. Some are not. Here are a few of my favourite idioms.

Cat’s pyjamas
Gone for a burton
Sleep on a clothes line
Give the cold shoulder
Not my cup of tea
Fly off the handle
Go the whole hog
Keeping up with the Joneses
Don’t mince your words
In a pickle
Get the sack
Don’t shilly-shally
Back to square one
Storm in a teacup

Many idioms are metaphors such as bed of roses and on the back burner. Some idioms such as like a bear with a sore head and bald as a coot are similes. Some idioms are dyads – pairs of words joined by and – such as airs and graces, beer and skittles, and above and beyond.

Which brings us on to clichés.

Clichés are like their close relative idioms. But unfortunately, clichés have gone round the block once too often and have become overused and tired. Avoid them like the plague.

Move the goalposts
Another day another dollar
The ball is in your court
Laugh all the way to the bank
Blood, sweat and tears
Chomping at the bit
On time and on budget
Blast from the past
Can’t see the wood for the trees

Got any favourite idioms that you love to death? Or any clichés that you avoid at all costs? Let us know in the comments.

Your dirty laundry is coming home to roost. And other metaphors, similes, idioms and clichés we love is a post from the Turner Ink Copywriting Blog

But La Maison is in good (bad?) company. Take a look at these corkers that have been sent to the MSN News site recently. 

Do not cling? Do not climb? Or what the heck. Let’s have both.

Yeah, help us reduce crime against the English language.

I wonder if there were enough Ofxord Dictionary’s left to be handed out as leaving presents.

We hope you’re fluent in English ‘cos we’re not. Although we make awesome stuffed olives.

You say tom-ah-to we say to-may-to. Let’s call the whole thing off.

My personal fave. Sue’s Snax’s. So wrong. So very wrong.

I sort of love this sign. I like the fact the loo is referred to as a powder room. And it’s only 5p to have a tiddle. That’s a bargain.

What I especially like is one of the comments left on the MSN News site.

Also, in number 17, the apostrophe is not superfluous, merely in the wrong place as the word “ladies” is a plural, and the toilets are “ladies’ toilets”.

Oh, so it’s merely in the wrong place. That’s ok then.

A sign of the times? Bloopers from around the UK is a post from the Turner Ink Copywriting Blog

Well we have just had a recession. So I guess some businesses may be stationary. But I don’t suppose this is what they are talking about.                                               

Come on people. This is a schoolboy error. The easiest way to remember the difference:  stationers (with an E) sell stationery (also with an E).                                

Need any stationary? is a post from the Turner Ink Copywriting Blog

However, it’s generally considered that enquire is the British spelling and inquire the US spelling. But as we can see from the Iraq Inquiry that’s not strictly true.

In fact, we use both spellings in the UK.

Enquiry means to request information or to look into.

Inquiry is used for official investigations.

Is it enquiry or inquiry? is a post from the Turner Ink Copywriting Blog

Of course, it was only last year that Birmingham City Council did away with apostrophes in their place names. So out goes St Paul’s Square and St Mary’s Road and in comes St Pauls Square and St Marys Road. Hmmmph.

But apparently this kind of thing has gone on in the US for years.

And, as was revealed on last night’s show, there are now only five place names in the whole of the US that use the possessive apostrophe. And they are:

• Martha’s Vineyard, MA
• Ike’s Point, NJ
• John E’s Pond, RI
• Clark’s Mountain, OR
• Carlos Elmer’s Joshua View, AZ

Which begs the question: who was Carlos Elmer? And why was his view so important?

Why are there no apostrophes in America? is a post from the Turner Ink Copywriting Blog

It’s pretty subtle but the rule is as follows:

We use which when we’re adding information.

The books, which have green covers, are new.

So all the books are new. And we’re just letting you know they have green covers as an extra bit of information.

On the other hand, we use that when we are restricting information.

The books that have green covers are new.

We’re being very specific. Only the books that have green covers are new.

Clauses containing which are set off by bracketing commas. Which means they can be removed from the sentence and still make sense.

The books, which have green covers, are new.

The books are new. 

So to recap. If you’re adding a bit of extra information, just for the heck of it, use which. Otherwise use that. Simples.

What’s the difference between ‘which’ and ‘that’? Is there a difference? is a post from the Turner Ink Copywriting Blog

E.g. is short for exempli gratia. Yes, it’s Latin and it means for example. So how is it used?

Try and visit some galleries when you’re in Paris e.g. (or for example) the Musee d’Orsay or the Louvre.

Use easy to read fonts on your website e.g. (or for example) Verdana

Remember: what follows an e.g. is an excerpt from a list or a larger chunk of information. So there’s no need to put an etc. at the end as well.

I.e. is short for id est and means that is or in other words. It’s used like this:

We’re going to run the same advertisement from last summer i.e. (or in other words) the one with the cat in it.

We’ll give you your usual discount i.e. (or in other words) 10%.

E.g. and i.e. always have full stops. And in the US a comma is often used after the abbreviation:

Use easy to read fonts on your website e.g., (or for example) Verdana

How do you remember which one to use? E.g.  means ‘EGsample’. And i.e. means ‘InEtherwords’. Yeah, yeah I know it’s a bit juvenile but, trust me, it works.

What’s the difference between e.g. and i.e.? is a post from the Turner Ink Copywriting Blog