The Turner Ink blog contains rants, bloopers, observations and opinions. It also has handy tips on grammar and punctuation such as colons: semicolons; and full stops. As well as some very useful ‘how tos’. Feel free to leave comments. Be nice though.

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An Englishman’s home is his castle, pad, dig, shack, crib, gaff…Evolving English at the British Library

9th
Feb
by Sarah Turner

If you’re in the area of Londinium between now and April 3rd, get yourself down to the British Library for their Evolving English: One Language, Many Voices exhibition.

The exhibition explores the beginnings of Anglo Saxon right through to current rap music and shows how English has evolved over the last 1500 years from its small island origins to become one of the world’s most popular languages.

So what’s to see? There’s a 1000-year-old version of Beowulf; works by Chaucer; the King James Bible, ‘an eye for an eye’, ‘salt of the earth’, the sign of the times’ and all that. Plus first editions of Shakespeare who, of course, introduced us to such words as eyeball, puking, mimic, amazement and rant.

Gawd blimey. Don't drop your aitches

But it’s not all high-brow malarkey. There are video clips of My Fair Lady’s Eliza Doolittle “Well if I was doing it proper, what was you sniggering at? Have I said anything I oughtn’t?” And recordings of Kenneth Williams speaking polari – a sort of gay slang – as Julian in radio’s Round the Horne “How bona to vada your jolly old eek.”

One of the pamphlets on show, published in 1854, advises the lower middle classes that if they wish to climb the social ladder they shouldn’t drop their aitches. Head and house should never be pronounced ‘ead and ‘ouse although the aitch in herb and hospital should remain silent. A tradition we’ve now done away with in the UK although the US continues to say ’erb.

And there’s an amusing section on U and non U English usage (upper class and non upper class). Amusing, because I can recall being told off as a child for saying serviette instead of napkin. U words include napkin, lavatory, vegetables, lunch, sofa and pudding while non-U are serviette, toilet, greens, dinner, settee and sweet.

As part of the exhibition, you can record your voice for future linguistic studies. I felt it was my duty to have the dulcet tones of my sarf London accent saved for posterity. And duly obliged by reading Mr Tickle by Roger Hargreaves (pronouncing Tickle like a true Laaandaner: ti-kawl)

What this outstanding exhibition so clearly demonstrates is how there’s no such thing as pure English. It’s an ever evolving language, influenced by social, cultural and historical changes, continuously incorporating words from other languages and happily discarding words it no longer has use for.

If you love etymology, you’ll love this exhibition. It’s on until April 3rd and it’s free.


Attention! No notice will be pisted unless it has been cheked

20th
Jan
by Sarah Turner

So I went to a local high school this morning to see the teenager I’m mentoring when I spied this notice on the library wall.


Ennui, Obfuscate, Imbroglio and other words that make you sound clever

31st
Dec
by Sarah Turner

Of all the presents I got for Christmas, one of my faves was a book called How to Sound Clever: Master the 600 English words you pretend to understand when you don’t by Hubert van deb Bergh and it’s a dazzling collection of sumptuous words such as denouement, anthropomorphise and obfuscate.

I recently chatted to a chap at a mulled wine and organic cheese party (yes, really) who used the word contemptuous (expressing contempt) when he was actually looking for the word contemporaneous (happening during the same period of time).

What do you say in situations like this? Do you correct the person in question (Oi, dufus, I think you mean…) or do you smile sweetly and nod eagerly? (I chose the latter.)

Mind you, I once answered a maths question at school with the utter belief that approximately meant exactly, on the button, accurately – rather than the exact opposite. (In my defence, I was only 10.)

So here are a few words from the book that you may or may not know. But see how many you can squeeze in tonight when you’re out partying.

  • Anachronistic (adj): Very old-fashioned
  • Anthropomorphise (verb): To attribute human form to something not human
  • Behemoth (noun): A huge thing, especially an organisation
  • Conflation (noun): The act of fusing two or more ideas together
  • Denouement (noun): Climax of several actions when the outcome becomes clear
  • Dichotomy (noun): A contrast between two things that are polar opposites
  • Ennui (noun): Dissatisfaction when nothing exciting happens for a while
  • Fetid (adj): Unsavoury smell
  • Garrulous (adj): Talkative, especially on unimportant matters
  • Halcyon (adj): A happy and peaceful time in the past
  • Imbroglio (noun): A messy and embarrassing situation
  • Obfuscate (verb): To bewilder
  • Quango: A quasi non-governmental organisation like the Press Complaints Commission
  • Perfunctory (adj): Done carelessly, as a matter of routine
  • Parse (verb): To examine something closely by breaking it up into parts
  • Sanguine (adj): Optimistic, upbeat
  • Vicarious (adj.) Experiencing feelings via someone else’s description

‘I’ll bare that in mind’. Or will I? Is it bare or bear?

8th
Dec
by Sarah Turner

There are some words which get even the most competent writers in a twist. I always struggle to spell the town Grimsby (luckily it’s not a word I have to type often). And I have to really think about the homonyms bear and bare. Is it ‘bare that in mind’ or ‘bear that in mind’?

So this post is for me as much as it is for you.

Bare means lacking a natural, usual or appropriate covering i.e. butt naked. It also means exposed, unfinished, empty, lacking, having nothing left or added, or not being disguised or embellished in any way. And it means reveal or uncover.

So anything to do with nakedness, uncovering or revealing is bare:

  • She was completely bare faced
  • Bare as the day he was born
  • With my bare hands
  • He bared his teeth
  • Riding barebacked
  • Bare one’s soul
  • The house was stripped back to its bare bones
  • The top revealed a bare midriff

Whereas bear (as well as those big furry things) means to carry or transport, to show a feeling, to have a name, to give birth, to produce fruit or flowers, to support weight, to go in a certain direction, to show patience and to aim a gun.

  • Can you bear with me a moment?
  • At the next turning bear right
  • To bear the cost
  • He’ll bear the scars for years
  • Will it bear the weight?
  • She’ll bear the brunt of that
  • Bear down
  • I think it will bear fruit every year
  • They’ve been ordered to bear arms
  • I’ll bear that in mind

So if it’s not anything to do with nakedness, uncovering or revealing – it’s bear.

For more tips on grammar and punctuation download the ebook.


Why are England so bad at football? And other questions we’ve asked this year

2nd
Dec
by Sarah Turner

Where do you go when you want answers? The newspapers? The Encyclopaedia Britannica? Your mum? Nah. Our first port of call is the Internet. In fact, my little nephew could say “Google it” before he could say “Dog”.

Ask Jeeves has compiled a list of the top ten questions asked by Brits in 2010. Do we want to know the meaning of life? Or if God exists? Of why is it so freezing today when global warming is supposedly on the rise?

Nope. This is what we want to know:

1. Why are England so bad at football? (So little time)

2. Is the X-Factor fixed? (Yes)

3. What will the Government cut next? (Defence? MPs salaries? We live in hope)

4. Who is Justin Bieber? (Who indeed)

5. Did I vote for the right party? (Probably not)

6. Do all footballers cheat? (Yes. On and off the field)

7. Should I buy an Ipad? (Jeez. I dunno. Do you want one or not?)

8. What is Glee? (It’s faaaabulous!)

9. Why didn’t Coleen leave Wayne? (Aaah the BIG question. Because it’s better to be with a cheating scumbag that’s worth £33m than be a divorced single mother without a job. Just a hunch)

10. Will Big Brother ever come back? (Please, no)


 

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